Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Men's vs. Women's Bathroom

At our office the women's bathroom is quite different from the men's. I've never actually been in there, only seen a little bit as I walked by and someone was going in or coming out. First off, there's music playing. They also have a bench to sit on and quite often you can hear several women in there having a lively conversation, I'm sure they've been there for longer than just the call of nature. I'll bet there's also candles, maybe some essential oil diffuser thingy, hints of lavender and and other women stuff.

The men's room is simple, plain, used for one thing. But if the women can have their special room decorated nicely and all womanly, I say we men should be able to upgrade our bathroom.

First, replace one of the urinals. Instead of pulling the handle to flush, you pull the handle to fill your glass with beer! Get rid of the bland colors and put up some posters and tool company calendars, sports team logos, street and other traffic signs, a nice hunting trophy or two. Replace the tile floor and carpet with garage flooring. Have a radio on the sports channel or better yet, a flat screen tv above every stall showing your favorite sporting event. When you flush, make it sound like you are reving the engine on a muscle car. Put a high powered exhaust fan in one area so you can have a quick cigar before heading back out. And instead of paper towels coming from a little ugly metal container, have some life-size carboard cutouts of some Hooters gals holding the paper towels for us.

We are men! Let us have our manthroom!